Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
