A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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