How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
