If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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