I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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