we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
