apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize