Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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