remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
