Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
