If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
