Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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