you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
