thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
