I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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