How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
