i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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