saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The best revenge is premature balding
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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