I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
