im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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