I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
