I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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