We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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