Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
