Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
