Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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