i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
