so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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