just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize