this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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