Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
