If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
