I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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