Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
