I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
