You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
