He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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