it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
