Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My dick has a subreddit
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
