My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
