Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
