at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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