...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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