Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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