Do you still have your period?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
