Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
