I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
