I met the friendliest cop last night
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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