I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You've changed since you got that strap on
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