weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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