She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
