I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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