sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize