doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
