I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Randomize
