Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
