I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
