Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
