Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
