And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
