Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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